


all the way to the thing we've been playing at

by aroacejeanprouvaire



Category: Les Misérables - All Media Types
Genre: Lithromantic Grantaire, Other, aromantic Enjolras, it's not a romantic relationship, queerplatonic maybe?, really it's a friendship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-04
Updated: 2015-02-04
Packaged: 2018-03-10 10:31:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,191
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3287045
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aroacejeanprouvaire/pseuds/aroacejeanprouvaire
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Enjolras tells Grantaire that xe is aromantic. Grantaire tells Enjolras that he is lithromantic.</p><p>Things go pretty well from there.</p>
            </blockquote>





	all the way to the thing we've been playing at

Enjolras might be a little unperceptive at times, but Grantaire is anything but subtle, and even Enjolras eventually has to acknowledge that (as xe expressed it to Combeferre) “Grantaire has a crush on me, or something, I think.”

The thing is, Enjolras likes the attention that Grantaire gives xir (the way xe can always catch Grantaire looking at xir, and the half-joking arguments that Grantaire starts just to keep xir talking, and the occasional diatribe given on the subject of Enjolras’ good looks) but the idea of Grantaire actually having feelings for xir makes Enjolras incredibly uncomfortable. Despite xirs uneasiness, Enjolras does have to wonder if xe has encouraged Grantaire at all by basking in the attention from time to time.

So it’s with a heavy combination of discomfort and guilt that Enjolras gently pulls Grantaire aside after a meeting.

Enjolras' mind blanks. Xe doesn’t know what to say. Xe agonised over it for days until Combeferre finally got xir to talk to him and told xir to “just tell him the truth”. Normally Enjolras is all for that approach, but xe and Grantaire really aren’t all that close, so it’s all just overwhelmingly awkward and Enjolras has no idea how Grantaire will react to being spoken to at all.

Grantaire coughs politely and raises an eyebrow at xir, and Enjolras realises that xe’s just been standing there silently, lost in thought.

“Shit, I… sorry.” Enjolras can feel xirself blushing, and xe hates this – this whole situation. “I wanted to talk to you, um, about…”

Grantaire stares at his feet, looking just as uncomfortable as Enjolras feels, and this was a bad idea, xe should have just left everything alone, but it’s too late now because xe’s got Grantaire here now so xe has to say something.

“Grantaire, I…” Enjolras takes a deep breath and pushes all the words out in a rush. “I could be misinterpreting things but I don’t think I am and I just wanted to make sure that you know that it’s nothing personal but I’m aromantic so nothing’s ever going to happen there.”

Grantaire slowly lifts his head up to meet Enjolras’ terrified gaze, and to Enjolras’ surprise Grantaire looks, undeniably, pleased. His eyes are sparkling and there’s a shy smile tugging at his lips, and whatever Enjolras was expecting it certainly wasn’t this. “I didn’t know for sure but I had my suspicions. That’s fine.” He shrugs, but after a moment the smile fades away and he says slowly, “You seem pretty stressed out by this whole deal. I guess that’s my fault, and I’m really sorry for making you feel like that.”

Enjolras is beyond confused. “So, I wasn’t misinterpreting anything? You-“

“I have a crush on you, yeah. Not really any point denying it now.” Grantaire shoves his hands into his pockets and looks anywhere but Enjolras’ face.

The sick, uncomfortable feeling starts to seep back into Enjolras. “I don’t understand.” Xe admits quietly. “You have feelings for me but you don’t care that I’m never going to return them?”

Grantaire shrugs again. “Having feelings for someone doesn’t entitle me to anything.”

“No, of course not, but that’s not it.” Enjolras is almost snapping at Grantaire and xe forces xirself to breathe. “You seemed to actually be pleased when I said nothing was ever going to happen.”

Grantaire shifts from foot to foot. “You’re really uncomfortable with me liking you, aren’t you? I should have, I don’t know, been more subtle or something. You shouldn’t have to deal with this.”

Enjolras shakes xir head. “It’s not ideal for me but it’s not your fault. I just wish I could understand.”

Grantaire sighs, and then goes to a table and sits down, gesturing for Enjolras to sit opposite him. His smile is gone and he’s all nervousness again. “I haven’t really told anyone this, but I’m going to tell you.” Grantaire isn’t looking at Enjolras, instead staring at his hands and fidgeting with his spinner ring.

Another wave of guilt crashes down on Enjolras as xe sits across from Grantaire. “Grantaire, it’s alright. I don’t want to force you to talk about anything if you’d rather not.”

Grantaire waves dismissively. “No, please, I want to tell you. It’s… well, have you heard of lithromanticism?”

Enjolras shakes xir head.

“Okay, well, basically lithromantics experience romantic attraction and, you know, all that shit, but without wanting it to be reciprocated.” He glances up, then goes back to playing with his ring. “And, well, I’m…”

He doesn’t seem to be quite able to get there, so Enjolras quietly finishes the sentence for him. “You’re lithromantic?”

Grantaire nods, and Enjolras feels like a weight has been lifted. When Grantaire finally looks up again, Enjolras is smiling softly at him. “What?” Grantaire asks, confused and self-conscious.

“Do you want to get coffee together?” For a second Grantaire looks horrified and Enjolras rushes to clarify. “No, not like… not like a date, or anything. Of course not. I just… I suppose I’ve been avoiding you to some degree for a while now. Since I noticed how you felt, really, and that probably wasn’t fair of me but I get so uncomfortable because when people like me like that I feel like they want something from me that I can’t give to them and I don’t know how to deal with it. But now I know that you don’t want anything from me, and I honestly can’t tell you what a relief that is, but I’ve also just realised that I really don’t know you all that well, and I wouldn’t mind getting to know you better.”

“That was quite a speech.” Grantaire is grinning, and Enjolras can’t help but smile back, the last of the pent up tension running out of xir at last. “And that sounds great. I’d love to get coffee with you.”

Enjolras beams at him. “Wonderful! Did you want to go now, or?”

“I’m not doing anything else right now.” Grantaire shrugs again. Enjolras is noticing that Grantaire shrugs a lot. “Hey, I know a place you’ll like. I mean, unless you had somewhere in mind?”

“I didn’t. Please, lead the way.”

 

The café isn’t far away, but it’s small and in a side-street, so Enjolras had never noticed it before. They walk in contented silence for the most part, interspersed with cheery small-talk, but as soon as they sit down Enjolras says earnestly, “Grantaire, I really am sorry that I pushed you into coming out to me. You didn’t have to tell me.”

Another dismissive wave. That seems to be a Grantaire mannerism too, along with the shrugging. “Like I said, I wanted to tell you, and it seems to have made things a lot easier between us, if the last ten minutes are anything to go by.”

“That’s definitely true.”

“Hey, can I recommend something for you?” Grantaire grabs the beverages menu and holds it out, upside down for him, but the right way up for Enjolras. “You generally go for caramel, right? This place has a whole bunch of sweet syrups you can get in your coffee, and I thought maybe you’d like the hazelnut one.”

Enjolras looks curiously at Grantaire. Grantaire only stares resolutely at the menu, a faint blush spreading over his face, so Enjolras looks at the menu too. Sure enough, there’s a list of flavours that can be added to any coffee you order, and out of the list hazelnut does appeal to Enjolras the most. “Thanks. I’ll get it as a latte, I think. What are you going to get?”

Another shrug. “Oh, I’ll get an espresso.”

“You’re not having any of the flavours?”

“Nah, not my thing. I don’t like to add anything to my coffee.”

“So, not recommending the hazelnut from experience, then?”

Grantaire’s blush deepens. “No, it’s just something I thought you’d like, because I noticed you usually get caramel lattes at the Musain, and if you don’t you heap so much sugar in…” He looks nervously up at Enjolras. “Is this weird? Should I not notice stuff like that?’

Enjolras finds xirself smiling shyly. “I don’t think it’s weird. It’s nice, really, that you’d pay attention to little things like that.” It really does feel nice, xe realises, to have someone care about something as mundane as xirs coffee preferences. Before when Grantaire noticed little things – like Enjolras wearing xirs hair a different way – Enjolras would feel initially pleased, but then get stressed out wondering what Grantaire really wanted. But now xe doesn’t have to worry, and can just enjoy the attention for what it is. “What else do you think I’d like here?” Xe asks quietly.

Grantaire grins and pulls the menu back to look at it. “I don’t think I’ve ever actually seen you eat, unless we’re counting those mints that you pretty much always seem to have somewhere on your person, but as far as drinks go I think maybe the Irish cream syrup added to a latte would be your kind of thing – it would certainly be sickly sweet.” He hands the menu back to point out the drink in question. “Also, it’s not on the menu, but around Christmas they had some seasonal specials up on the board and there was a peppermint mocha that got pretty popular. Personally, I can’t think of a worse drink, but I know you like mint, and they did it as a hot chocolate too but I can’t see you drinking anything that didn’t at least have some coffee in it.”

It’s Enjolras’ turn to blush, and it’s at that moment that the waiter comes to their table. Grantaire orders for both of them: a hazelnut latte and a single-shot espresso.

He turns back to Enjolras. “So, what do you think? Going to come back for a peppermint mocha next Christmas?”

“I might, actually. Even if I don’t celebrate that particular monument to capitalism.”

“Well, this year you can celebrate terrible, sugary mockeries of coffee instead.”

“There you are.” Enjolras smiles. “For a little while there I thought you were going to stop making digs at me.” For some reason the jab at his coffee choices warms xir almost as much as the careful evaluation that came before it.

Grantaire laughs. “Never!’

“Promise?’ Enjolras asks, only half joking.

Grantaire places a hand over his heart. “I swear.”

Enjolras smiles and clasps xirs hands on the table. “So, like I said, I really don’t know all that much about you. Well, I know you’re an art major. What kind of art do you do?”

“I’m really more into art theory than anything else, but when I do actually produce something of my own I do digital stuff, with a tablet. As for style it’s… I don’t know, a bit of everything. At the moment I just like trying things, and seeing how vastly different things can make meaning together.”

“That was really beautifully put.”

Grantaire smirks at xir. “Yeah, well, I just had to write a proposal for a project, so I stole the last part from that.”

Grantaire talks about art theory until their drinks arrive, and then the easy conversation keeps flowing as they drink. Enjolras learns that Grantaire is in a bunch of university clubs (fencing, boxing, debate) as well as being a member of a kind of casual, just-for-fun dance troop. Enjolras hadn’t thought Grantaire would be so involved in so many things, or have such diverse skills, and feels a little guilty for making those assumptions.

Xe also discovers that Grantaire is funny, and really easy to talk to; almost two hours have slipped away before Enjolras notices the time and remembers that xe’s supposed to be studying with Courfeyrac.

They say their goodbyes, and make vague plans to hang out again soon, and Enjolras is about to leave when Grantaire stops him.

“Hey, would it weird you out if I, I don’t know, did stuff for you sometimes? Just little things, like, if I brought you coffee at a meeting, or just like, checked in on you if you seem stressed, or things like that?” His nervousness has clearly come back, and he’s spinning his ring around and around while resolutely avoiding Enjolras’ eyes.

Enjolras reaches out and tentatively places a hand on Grantaire’s shoulder, getting him to look up again. “I’d really like that. If I ever do that kind of thing for you will that be okay, or will that be erring too far towards reciprocation of feelings?’

Grantaire takes a moment to consider this, as though Enjolras doing things for him had never even occurred to him before. “I think it would be okay, as long as it’s just stuff that you do for other friends.”

“I’ll make sure that it is.” Xe starts to leave again, but then turns back to say. “Oh, and Grantaire? I’m really glad we talked about this, and that we talked at all.” And then xe finally makes it out the door. 

Enjolras is halfway down the street before xe hears Grantaire yelling after xir, “Just you wait! I’m going to buy you so much of your terrible coffee!”

**Author's Note:**

> This fic was inspired by this tumblr post: http://listenhereustalebaguette.tumblr.com/post/97247113039/okay-okay-but-hear-me-out-on-this-one-if-you-like  
> I read it months ago and have been thinking about it ever since until finally I managed to write this.
> 
> The title is from Good Intentions Paving Company by Joanna Newsom.


End file.
